Turbo Pudding
The Paver talks to you through loudspeakers, always in capitals, like a site foreman who has lost his clipboard. And every time Thistle breaks one of its machines, it has an excuse ready. It’s Friday, so here is a tour of Greenfold Meadows, the free first world of Helicorn, told through what the Paver shouts and what the crew says back.
It talks. No, it shouts
The first mission is called Fresh Tarmac, and for a while nothing shoots back. Then the loudspeakers crackle: “ATTENTION. THIS MEADOW IS NOW A CAR PARK.”
Wren Ashby, the pilot, is not impressed: “It talks.” Tilly, on dispatch, corrects her straight away: “It shouts. Different thing.” That is the whole relationship in two lines, and it stays that way for the rest of the game.
At the end of the mission the Paving Crew rolls in, and the Paver gives it a pep talk: “PAVING CREW, FORM UP. FRESH TARMAC. NO TOUCHING.” Knock off the hopper and Wren adds, “Hopper’s off. Less tarmac, more meadow.” Bring the whole crew down and the Paver reveals its first excuse: “THAT WAS A RENTAL!” Old Hatch, the mechanic, is delighted: “Rental. Ha. I’ll keep the bits.”
A depot on loan
Mission two, Roller Rows, opens with a road rule of the Paver’s own: “ROLLERS: ROLL. HELICOPTER: DO NOT.” At the far end of the road waits the Depot Yard, and the sign on the loudspeaker is very firm: “DEPOT. AUTHORISED MACHINES ONLY.”
Tilly’s advice before you get there is simple: “A depot ahead. Take the gate down first.” When the gate falls, Wren says only “Knock knock,” and Tilly moves you on: “Gate’s down! Now the guns!”
When the depot is gone, the Paver has a new problem with the paperwork: “THAT DEPOT WAS ON LOAN!” Tilly doesn’t take it up. “Depot cleared! Nice one, Wren!”
Who pays for the gravel?
Mission three, Wet Gravel, brings rain, Mixers and a polite request: “WET CONCRETE. PLEASE DO NOT WRITE YOUR NAME IN IT.” It ends at the Gravel Yard, and the yard has its own warning: “GRAVEL YARD. DO NOT FEED THE MORTARS.”
The yard’s mortar lobs shells at you, and Hatch has the answer: “Mortar’s lobbing. Keep sliding, it can’t follow.” Break the gate and Wren reports, “Gate’s open. Wide open.” Break the silo and Hatch is already counting: “Silo’s down. That’s lunch money.”
When the yard falls, the Paver finally asks the question that has clearly been worrying it: “WHO PAYS FOR THE GRAVEL NOW?” Wren answers in two words: “Not me.”
Smile for the camera
The last mission of the meadows is The Big Dig. On the way, Survey Copters hover in the sky, stop to aim and then fire in threes. The Paver introduces them like a shop sign: “SMILE. YOU ARE BEING SURVEYED.”
A little later the ground starts to shake, and the Paver clears the way for its favourite: “STAND BACK. BIG DIG IS DIGGING. BIG.” When it rolls in, the shout gets louder: “BIG DIG! DIG THEM A HOLE!” Tilly sums up the view: “Here it comes! It’s enormous!”
The crew keeps score as the pieces come off. Tilly: “The arm’s off! Now the stacks!” Wren, when the first stack falls: “One less chimney.” Hatch, when the little cab gun stops: “Cab gun’s gone quiet.”
And then comes the excuse we like best, because it is the most honest one: “THAT WAS MY BIGGEST SHOVEL!” Wren, for once, is kind about it: “It was a nice shovel.”
A rental, a loan, a bill and a shovel
Put the four excuses side by side and the Paver starts to sound less like a villain and more like someone filling in an insurance form. The crew was a rental. The depot was on loan. The gravel needs paying for. The shovel was the big one. It never says sorry about the meadow.
The crew, meanwhile, keeps its own score. Win a mission and one of them might say “One less car park.” Lose one and Wren has a reply ready too: “The Paver wins this one. Just this one.” Hatch adds the good news: “You kept the Scrap you caught. Spend it wisely.”
Come and hear it for yourself
Greenfold Meadows is free to play in your browser at helicorn.com, loudspeakers and all. The full game, all six worlds, is $4.99, paid once. More about the game is on its Helicorn page.
