Turbo Pudding

KettlecrestScreenshot Saturday

Six legs of the Long River and what each one adds

· The Turbo Pudding team · 5 min read

Hollis, a white stork with a long neck, an orange beak, sleepy closed eyes and a navy nightcap with a white pompom, rows a wooden dresser drawer with a broom at the bottom center of the frame, seen from just behind; a huge pale blue ice arch with a row of icicles hanging from its underside spans the whole sky above him, the river runs on between snowy banks with dark spruce trees and blue ice cliffs, white mountain peaks rise in the distance, and one small boat paddles far ahead

Every leg of the Long River brings something you haven’t met yet. In the game’s files, each leg opens with a short note that ends with a list called “New on this leg.” It’s Saturday, so here are six legs, one from each reach, each with a different hero in the boat.

Blue Arches: ice overhead

The second leg of Glacier Gate runs under three ice arches, and the first of them stands under a bridge of ice. Fields of slush slow the near lanes. Then comes the Long Island, a 300-meter arm on the left beside a straight. The arm is calmer but longer, and the surges never go into it.

That’s Hollis on the cover, the old stork of the night mail, rowing his dresser drawer with a broom. The River Note, a small challenge one of the heroes leaves for each leg, comes from Fennel here: “The gulls drop knitted hearts. Two will keep you warm.”

Needlewood Run: the forest pushes back

Pinewood Rapids begins with a wide, easy start under the spruce. Then log jams on the banks roll a log out into the near lane, and each jam sheds bark for 2 seconds first. Kicker slabs throw a boat into the air.

Nib, a bright red crayfish with two long red feelers and two black eyes on stalks, sits in a floating straw hat with a red band, drawn large in the middle of a wide pale green river; one big claw wears an orange water wing and grips the handle of a wooden spoon that dips into the water; the right bank is a steep brown slope covered in dark green spruce and a few pale birches, three other boats race far ahead near a misty white waterfall, and soft gray mountains fade into the haze beyond
Typed “river racing game with logs.” Nib wore his water wings.

Further down, a Beaver Plank turns a rock garden into a shortcut. The plank is one of two new items in this reach’s baskets. Nib, the crayfish in the straw hat, fits right in: his card says he “bounces off everything.”

Turquoise Basin: a lap that changes under you

In Chalkstep Terraces, Turquoise Basin is a Pool: two laps of a turquoise lake ringed by white lime rims. Its centerpiece is the Spill Gate, an S-bend between two upper basins that pour in turn, left and then right, 4 seconds apart. One lane is always open, and the middle never shuts. So a basin can be full on one lap and pouring on the next.

Ottilie, a brown otter with a cream muzzle, a flat orange cap and a red and teal scarf, rows a round copper kettle across bright turquoise water with a wooden spoon, drawn large in the middle; the kettle’s spout sticks out to the left and its black handle arches over the right side; behind her, white water spills over a pale cream lime rim, a flat gray-green sheet of water slopes down on the right, and above the rims stand low cream terraces with rounded rocks, green bushes and tall dark green trees
Search: “turquoise lake racing game.” Ottilie brought her kettle.

After the gate come a long back straight with a lime kicker, a round turn with an eddy and the Shelf, a shallow lime ledge on the inside of the last straight. Ottilie, the otter in the copper kettle, “laughs at every rapid,” her card says. Juno wrote the River Note: “Land a throw. Then wave. Waving is important.”

Laundry Lanes: washing across the sky

Laundry Lanes is the washing quarter of Millrace Town. Lines of laundry hang across the water from house to house. The river splits around two blocks of houses. First comes the Left Lane, 8 meters wide, with no surges and a lone bay halfway. Then comes the Right Lane, just as narrow but faster, with a mill wheel at its mouth.

Verbena, a white heron with a yellow beak, sleek black head plumes and a pink feather boa, paddles a dark red violin case with a violin bow at the bottom center of the frame, seen large from just behind and below; a laundry line with a pale pink cloth and two red cloths stretches across a deep blue evening sky above her, rows of cream, yellow, blue and brown town houses with red and dark roofs and lit windows line both sides of the canal, and several other boats paddle just ahead in a spray of water toward a pink horizon with a pale mountain
People also ask: “can you race under laundry?” Verbena just did.

On the main line, a row of sluice gates stands right under a turning wheel. The bay by the wheel shuts while the wheel stands still, so the open water swaps sides. Verbena, the heron actress, gets the washing for a backdrop. The River Note asks you to take a side channel, and Sorrel wrote it after timing the narrow lane.

Rootwater Run: under the roots

On Rootwater Run, deep in the mangroves of Tangle Delta, the roots close over the river for 70 meters. That’s the Root Tunnel, all green shade and fireflies. Below it is the Spinning Gut, a narrow reach whose middle is one big whirl that wakes on a 10-second cycle. When it’s open, its fast side is the quickest water around.

Fennel, a round brown capybara with a small tangerine and green leaf balanced on his head, rows half a pumpkin with a ladle, drawn large in the middle on calm olive-green water; dark mangrove roots arch overhead in a low tunnel hung with thin green vines, and through the opening ahead the river runs on past misty green mangrove trees on stilt roots, where a few small boats race in a spray of water
Search history: “mangrove tunnel game” “capybara in a pumpkin.”

Further down, the river fans out around two mangrove islands: the main channel with its surges in the middle, a calm braid on each side and a small whirl of its own in the left braid. A long mud flat narrows the run-in. That’s Fennel, the capybara, in half a pumpkin. The River Note is from Hollis: “Open two bundles. Every parcel is a little surprise.” A bundle can hold an item, a heart or a bit of river junk, like an Old Boot you wear as a hat.

Turning Tide: the sea runs backward

The last reach, Bell Mouth, has a Pool of its own: three laps of a tidal lagoon behind the dunes. Here the tide runs around the loop the wrong way. Every 50 seconds, a bore, a wall of water pushed in by the tide, rises in the far corner and rolls back around the loop against the boats for 400 meters. So it meets you somewhere new on every lap.

Brogan, a big purple hippo with small ears, two square white teeth, a black flat cap and a brown leather apron, sits in a black cast-iron bathtub with a white rim and a gold tap, drawn large in the middle of pale blue lagoon water and pulling a long shovel through the water like an oar; behind him, sand dunes with tufts of dry grass and a short wooden fence rise on the right, and far back on the left three boats splash along beside a low pale ridge under a hazy sky
Searched “hippo boat race.” Yes, in a bathtub.

On the straight with the piles, you can tuck in just upriver of a cluster and duck the bore there. Brogan, the hippo blacksmith in the cast-iron bathtub, “shoves like a boulder.” Fennel wrote the River Note: “The tide turns. Keep every heart. Be gentle with yourself.”

Paddle them yourself

The first two reaches, Glacier Gate and Pinewood Rapids, are free to play in your browser at kettlecrest.com, Blue Arches and Needlewood Run included. The full game, all six reaches and twenty-four races down to the sea, is $4.99, paid once. More about the game is on the Kettlecrest page.

More about Kettlecrest

KettlecrestScreenshot Saturday

Kettlecrest: postcards from the Long River

One hero from each reach of the river: a crayfish in a straw hat on Kettle Lake, a heron in a violin case, a beaver at the sluice gates and more.